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When Ben Comes Home

Mommy, when Ben comes home, I’m going to show him this book.

You’re such a good brother, I would say.

This conversation or something very similar would happen more times than I could count. And probably for at least the six weeks following Ben’s death. This was just one of many questions or innocent thoughts I had from my then three-year-old son about his brother.

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Elizabeth GerlachComment
A Boy Named Colin. My Son.

Mom, I’m going to work over here.

My son said to me while we were clearing the snow from our drive and sidewalks recently.

Ok, babe, that’s great. You’re a wonderful helper, is how I responded.

There are moments I forget HE IS ONLY SIX YEARS OLD. This was one of them.  

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Elizabeth GerlachComment
Being Thankful.

Entering this time of year is hard for me -- Once Halloween is here, life rolls on through Thanksgiving and then right into the Christmas season without even slowing down. Last year happened to be our ‘year of firsts’…the first birthday, the first Halloween, the first Thanksgiving…all without my beautiful Ben.

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Elizabeth Gerlach
We Are Blessed.

I’m not a wallower.

Never have been. And we’ve had a pretty difficult last few years – from managing a premature birth and a five-month NICU stay to a child with significant needs, caring for triplets, dealing with child loss, trying to figure out this new life.  I probably have plenty to be angry about, as many others do in this world. And I am angry.  And some days I do wonder ‘why me?’ But …we are also Blessed.

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Elizabeth Gerlach