Every Time I See a Child Smile, I Think “This is why Ben died.”
Children, Family, Grief, Loss, Special Needs Elizabeth Gerlach Children, Family, Grief, Loss, Special Needs Elizabeth Gerlach

Every Time I See a Child Smile, I Think “This is why Ben died.”

For any mom who loses a son, you wonder ‘why’? Why did this happen? Why me? Why us? What could I have done to keep him well? And the worst question of all that comes from a place of guilt – is there anything I could have done differently to deliver a different outcome?

For me, I believe the answer is no.

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When Ben Comes Home
Children, Family, Grief, Loss Elizabeth Gerlach Children, Family, Grief, Loss Elizabeth Gerlach

When Ben Comes Home

Mommy, when Ben comes home, I’m going to show him this book.

You’re such a good brother, I would say.

This conversation or something very similar would happen more times than I could count. And probably for at least the six weeks following Ben’s death. This was just one of many questions or innocent thoughts I had from my then three-year-old son about his brother.

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